So uh...hi

I'm sorry for being so inactive but life's been hectic along with animation taking over my life;;;

If anything, I'm more active on my MMD twitter account and Discord (do not ask for my Discord).

Anyway, I would get alerts from my phone about notifications from here and have gotten a couple of comments and notes asking me about what either happened to YSTH, post up the next page of Let it Go, and just pestering in general.

Guys...pestering me is only gonna make me less motivated to do things for I am only one person and can't do everything all at once. The thing is, while I still love Animaniacs to pieces, but I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone and currently focusing on my FNAF x Madoka AU and MMD, which is 3D in general. I've been doing Animaniacs related things for several years and just wanted to try something different, so anything Animaniacs related, will be happening less. That being said, I will still be helping out my friend FaithFirefly with the Animanics x Frozen AU and honestly feel bad for dumping it on you, my dude;;; 

However, for YSTH...well, two folks will be happy/boast about this when I say:

It is cancelled

Sorry but as the years went by and got to learn better about stories and character development, I realized that YSTH is a fucking mess. There is no steady plot, the fan characters I made were poorly developed and was just a straight up cluster fuck. I love crossovers but I also gotta realize my limits. As for the main focus character, I know a certain someone would say how I made him and his siblings 'evil emo killers', listen, I have watched Animaniacs a bunch of times to study their personalities so that they can slowly go from OC to OOC because trauma changes people. I hate being treated as if I'm stupid and don't appreciate being 'corrected' about things I already know. But the story's cancelled so that doesn't really matters anymore, rejoice, woo...

I am incredibly sorry for those who joined that contest a while back and never received their prizes;; there is no excuse for never getting to them and feel terrible for wasting everyone's time. Hell, I just feel bad for having folks hyped up for a story that has been on hiatus for several, several years, but I gotta think for myself for once. It was very very hard for me to come to this decision and still fear the outcome yet I've just lost interest in it and want to work on other stuff, particularly ones that are smaller crossovers like Puella Magi Frances Magica and the Animaniacs x Frozen AU, both that are only two fandoms together.

All I ask is for you to please do not beg me or bother me to bring YSTH back or wonder why I have taken some of the pics down. My mind is made up. If you merely watched me for it, unwatch me now. It's not coming back.

If you continue to bug me, guilt me, or bother me about it, I will resort to blocking, which I don't want to do. Do not make me resort to that, please.

I will mostly be focusing on Frances Magica and Animaniacs x Frozen au, both that will have angst, feels, and family bonds. So if you're mostly looking for that, then stay tuned, even if I take forever to post things.
-
MMD

Like I stated earlier, I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone and doing something different for a while. I'm still doing 2D, but it'll probably be not as much since MMD, or 3D in general, is something new and want to try it for a bit. To those who have watched me for my MMD stuff:

My stuff will not be for download. Ever. Do not ask, guilt trip, or pester me for them. Again, I will resort to blocking if you do. Don't make me resort to that.

I've witnessed how bad the MMDC is getting and I'm honestly disgusted by the amount of spoiled entitled brats who won't take 'no' for an answer, don't read the descriptions, nor refuse to respect the creators' rules. They're putting stronger passwords and/or taking downloads down for a reason folks. I know I'm not innocent from all this for I know I've done some of this in the past but I'm owning up to it and trying my best not to make those mistakes again. So please respect content creators' wishes, whether we created the model or just edited one (ex. used TDA and placed items on 'em), we still put our heart and soul into putting them together.

The only people who are allowed to ask for models for me are friends that I super duper trust, and that's pretty hard since I have severe trust issues.

Do not ask to become my friend for that is not how friendships works and will automatically make me not trust you.

I will be creating a list of folks who are allowed to ask.

For watchers who are not interested in my MMD work, unwatch me now as well.
-
Life + health

I don't know if this is necessary but a lot has been happening in real life lately. Just trying to balance animation projects here, private classes, and my health is exhausting but doing my best to teach myself to be more flexible. My schedule is kinda messy at the moment since the classes will fully start on Sept. 10th, Wednesday and Friday from 10 AM to 3 PM and don't know what exactly I'll be doing yet.

Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a companion that comes from the regional center from 10:30 AM to 2:30 PM to help me get out of the house more and help me become independent. So if you ever see updates about me going to the movies, cooking, or any other outdoor activity, that's why. Something I don't think I've told folks is that I'm actually agoraphobic; I'm scared to leave the complex area by myself (I'm okay to leave the house as long as I'm within the complex area. Anything beyond that, no.) so I have a companion come over to help me out and try to conquer that fear along with helping me learn about being independent.

Maybe that was unnecessary info but, idk, I felt I should say it.

I'm also trying to deal with health issues since I always seem to get one after another. Currently, I have recently discovered I have Hiatal hernia, which isn't fatal, just a condition in which part of the stomach pushes up through the diaphragm muscle and it's apparently common? So I'm just trying to get by and not stress out as much (ha, ha, that's funny). PSA; try to stump stress and anxiety now for it not only hurts you mentally, it will hurt you physically, along with giving you grey strands of hair. I've gotten a couple, and I hate it cause I'm 26 years old.

Finally,  

I'm not sure if anyone ever did see this but to those of you who have commissioned me, I feel absolutely terrible for not being able to finish them and should've said this a LONG time ago so please, if you want a refund, not me ASAP. I hate feeling like I cheated you out for money and honestly feel like I'm not up for commissions, at least until I get better with deadlines.

Commissions/Request/Collabs To Do ListTHIS JOURNAL WILL BE UPDATED FREQUENTLY!
Okay as a start of the new year, I'm going to sit down and start working on these puppies. I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG AND WILL WORK ON THEM AS MUCH AS I CAN! I'm so terrible at this :iconorzplz:
...I have no idea if I'm doing this right, but I have all the details that were given within these requests written down so I don't need to worry about that
:iconcommissionsopen: :iconrequestfriendsonly: :iconcollabsfriendsonly:
Commissions
Gareth (FTA)
Super Gareth Sketch Progress:   :iconsailorphantom:
Group picture of Lou, Lotte, and Erik together: Sketch in progress:iconnayrman:
Kingdom Hearts thumbnail:
:iconbrandonator-5000:
Sketched model sheet of his A! OC, Brandon
Requests
:iconPNSK:
 Rule 63 of himself and Icefox:

This one has been eating me up for a long time and finally pushing anxiety to say this.

Again, I am super duper sorry for all the trouble and thank you all for reading and understanding

Sincerely,

Manda (Sasfan15)

But I'm making an exception here cause f-lorui's a sweetie And is extremely patient for putting up with my spam of Madoka x FNAF AU Trash 8') TO ANY RANDOM PERSON WHO SEES THIS, THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN TAG ME IN THE FUTURE.

-

BIO
 How old are you?

         25... *IS SURROUNDED BY MINORS*  WHY MUST I BE AN ADULT?! I DON'T EVEN FEEL OR ACT LIKE AN ADULT!

 What gender and pronouns do you identify with?

         She/her

 Your name?   

         Manda. Or as Aki, Momo, Neko, and Nick recently called me:

SAAAAASSSS FAN

 How social are you?

         I have severe social anxiety and am scared of making people ether tired of hearing me say the same shit over and over, annoyed, or mad. So socially awkward 8);;; REPLY TO THE REPLIES, MANDA!!

ART

 How long have you been on deviantART? (Old accounts included)

         Uh...

 What are your future plans for the site?

         Uh...

 Do you want to pursue a career in art?

         UH-nah kidding but yes, I wanna become an animator.

 On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your art skills?

         ...back to UHHHHHH-!!

 Do you ever plan on leaving deviantART?

         No. I don't know why several folks thought I would though?

 Who is your favorite visual artist?

         *Unrolls a giant list* Where should I start?

 Do you use a tablet or a mouse?

         I started with a mouse and then I discovered the wacom tablet and fell in love. I fell super in love when I got to use the Wacom Cintiq at school Q u Q Why they gotta be so expensive?!

 How long does it usually take you to complete your artwork?

         *Points to all the shit that's on hiatus and/or are unfinished* You tell me. 8);;;

 How well do you handle criticism?

         It's kinda iffy. I, - for the most part - know there's a difference between a critique and a flat out insult but for some reason, if it sounds/reads like the person's upset, I start to think they're angry and they don't like it. I'm continuously working to try and buck up, telling myself, 'Manda no, they're just being straight forward, they're not mad.'

It's also difficult when a critique confuses me cause then I fear I'll irritate them for not being able to get it. 8);; Again, I'm working on it.

RELATIONSHIPS

 What is your sexuality/romantic preference?

         UH?????

 Are you currently in a relationship?

         Nope.

 Is your partner/spouse a deviant? (If so, paste link to their profile here.)

         Nope.

 How long have you been together?

         NOPE.

 TAG EIGHT PEOPLE HERE!! NO EXCEPTIONS!

:bademoticon:

Edit 4-27-17: I'm so sorry for those who I haven't responded back to yet. Life's been really hectic and have been focusing on animating lately so if I haven't responded yet, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just very busy and haven't figured out a response yet but I will respond to you at some point.

That being said, thank you all for your wonderful support and for sharing your thoughts on this matter

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

     

(I'm probably gonna use more stamps for this entire journal entry because they'll help me explain things better)

So with the latest release of Bendy and the Ink Machine, Chapter 2, theories and general discussions about it have been sky rocketing all over the internet. However, something that I've constantly seen being brought up is how Bendy is becoming the next FNAF (and maybe UT but the former is mostly talked a lot). My response? Why do you guys keep comparing it to a different game entirely?? Yes they're both horror games but here's the difference:

FNAF (excluding SL)

• Sitting on your ass in your office/home
• Trying to survive til 6 AM
• Enemies are animatronics
• Absolutely no weapon to defend yourself

BATIM

• Walking around in an old cartoon company
• Trying to figure out what's going on
• Enemies are ink blob monsters (so far)
• Hey look! They gave you an axe: a weapon!
• You can actually move around in this game
• Btw, it's only on Chapter 2

However, if it's one thing that I've seen people bring up constantly, it's mostly about the fandoms, preferably the bad ones. So far I've heard things like, 'Oh great, BATIM's fanbase is now FNAF.' 'There's another game ruined by the fandom.' 'This is gonna be the new FNAF, isn't?' 'Can we not have this get as bad as FNAF?' 'Welp, fandom's ruined, I'm out.' etc.

My response to all this? Where the hell are these 'toxic' fans that ya'll keep talking about?

So far, I have seen almost none of these fans that everyone has brought up. Instead, I've seen nothing but haters and complainers. Whether it's about fans of the game, artists who draw Bendy as a human, makes gender benders, shipping, OCs, AUs, whatever, yeah, nothing but people complaining about it! If there's anything that is toxic within BATIM fanbase it's the haters and complainers! Seriously, somebody could be doing something completely innocent and suddenly haters are getting at it because they don't want their precious game to be touched by such 'filth'.

Look, I get it, you guys don't want the fanbase to get ugly but you're also not helping by trying to dictate others! In fact, you're making it worse, so cut that shit out! Besides, the only bad thing that I've heard about is the rule 34 shit but other then that, no rabid fans yet.

In fact, here's a stamp I came across recently and fully agree with it:   


Copy/pasted a piece from the stamp's description:

'While there are rabid fans that can be very nice, though annoying and unoriginal, I generally believe that all rabid haters are assholes.'

Which, again, I agree because I have heard stories and have actually SEEN where haters have been downright rude to others to the point where they tell that person to kill themselves. Like...wow, really? You want someone to die because they drew/animated/wrote something you didn't like? That's utterly pathetic not to mention that ya'll are getting bent out of shape over a fucking ink blob, actually no, OVER A GAME! And the same could be said about other games to! I mean, Jesus Christ...here's more stamps:  

 <da:thumb id="598816718"/>




(Well, game in this case, but you get the idea)

It's not gonna be the end of the world if the fanbase gets bad, which I'm sorry to be 'that guy' but, it is. Once something starts to get popular, it starts to attract the good and the bad and it's gonna happen with Bendy whether you like it or not. The only thing that matters is if you let the fandom affect you. Me? Pfft, I don't give a shit; 



If it gets bad, fine, whatever. I'll just sit in this burning house, not giving a single fuck, and go on about my merry way because if I let a fandom get to me, then it's essentially like bullying where I gave them power and showed them that they can continue to behave like this and make others leave if they don’t meet to their standards.

I mean, you're really going to tell me that you've stopped liking something because someone else ruined it for you? Someone you didn't even know? And are you going to keep doing that with other things that you liked? Cause if you are, then you're probably better off not getting into anything.

I'm sorry but, it's a major pet peeve when I hear people leave something because of a fanbase ruining it for them. Let me ask you this; do you like the game/cartoon/TV show/story/whatever? If the answer is yes, THEN WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!?



If you wanna leave something, leave on your own terms. Do not let the fans drive you out! The same thing could be said about hating characters and stories: 



Just ignore the rabid fans and enjoy the thing you're interested in and if you get someone constantly harassing you, here's a crazy idea; BLOCK 'EM!

<da:thumb id="638470637"/> <- This mostly refers to blocking those who have been harassing you and just being an utter dick. However, if someone gives you legit critique or advice about something and you block them? Eh, no.

And if said person is still harassing you to the point where it's escalating to death threats, take screencaps of the conversations and (if it's been going on for several months) report it to the authorities! Granted, ignoring doesn't always work, hell some are saying that ignoring makes it worse, so maybe ignore isn't the right word to use. More like, take whatever you see in the fandom with a grain of salt and move on.

But of course, people will always find ways to counter argue stuff like this, the popular one being, 'How can I ignore it when I see it everywhere?!'

Okay, how much do you wanna bet that you didn't even know a certain thing existed until someone pointed it out? Or did you go looking for it? If you did the latter, I'm sorry but, that's your fault. Parroting a bit of what Sonicgirl1001 in one of her ramble vids, if you're going to go look for shit, you're going to find shit!

Here's an example that happened to me recently:

When I was clearing out my messages, I saw a Frisk and Chara model that looked really cute but accidentally clicked the 'x' button and deleted it from my messages. I quickly searched for it and, what do you know? THERE'S A BUNCH OF FRISK AND CHARA MODLES, but I didn't complain about it because I wrote 'MMD Chara and Frisk' in the search bar and got a bunch of it from the results. So if you don't want to see whatever it is, just don't go looking for it otherwise it WILL be everywhere!

However, yes, there are moments where something is actually shown everywhere, but depending on the site, I'm sure there's like some sort of safe search or filter that can make you see it less, or just avoid the internet entirely. Still when I see folks say this and use it to hate on something; 



Cause it's not. When I see something that's possibly 'everywhere' I click past it because there's no point. If anything the majority of what I see everywhere on any site is hate and it needs to at least simmer down.

More stamps to help me move onto another topic:

<da:thumb id="641983272"/>

<da:thumb id="643927518"/>

Really guys, there are things that are MUCH WORSE then a rabid fanbase, which is why I cannot stand it when I see someone compare something to cancer:

<da:thumb id="654977836"/>



CANCER IS A DEADLY DISEASE THAT -depending on what type- EFFECTS YOUR BLOODSTREAM AND HAVE YOU GO THROUGH EXCRUCIATING PROCEDURES! 

Random story but bare with me: I believe around October, my uncle was diagnosed with kidney cancer, but thankfully the cancer miraculously stayed within the kidney (cause due to insurance, they wouldn't cover the operation so he had to wait until MARCH to get it) and the doctors managed to remove the tumor, so he didn't have to go through the chemotherapy treatment. Meanwhile, my nana has a sister who was also diagnosed with cancer and wasn't so lucky so she now has to go through the chemotherapy procedure. Bottom line: STOP COMPARING FANDOMS TO A DISEASE THAT HAS KILLED PEOPLE! 

You can sit there and explain as to why you would compare it, only for me to say 'Don't you dare compare it to a disease you have not gone through!' because something tells me that if you've actually had cancer, it is FAR WORSE than a fanbase and should be the LEAST of your concerns. I don't have it therefore I don't compare it and neither should you.

Then there are people who compare the fandom to the fucking holocaust, to which I point to this stamp:

<da:thumb id="340412438"/>

Seriously, HAVE YOU NOT SEEN DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT IT?! Millions of people have suffered, were tortured and had unspeakable things done to them, not to mention, WERE KILLED! SO DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE COMPARE FANDOMS TO A TRAGIC EVENT LIKE THAT!  

So in conclusion, the majority of this journal was to point out that there's been a lot of haters and complainers and ya'll need to calm down. Stop dictating others to do something that fits in your eyes, stop comparing it to other fanbases, hell, to other games, and please, for the love of god, STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES! You may argue the whole 'freedom of speech' thing but once you introduce a death threat, first amendment goes right out of the window and you could get into serious trouble! Whether if you're 'joking' or trying to run a satire blog/account, death threats are not funny.

Just...here, have some more stamps:

 <da:thumb id="652893305"/> <da:thumb id="603379898"/> <da:thumb id="604556085"/> <da:thumb id="570195219"/>     <da:thumb id="596322848"/> <da:thumb id="580609792"/>

<da:thumb id="629000776"/>      <da:thumb id="334200441"/><da:thumb id="508190817"/>


And to fans, like myself, who like to obsess over things:



Because rabid fans aren't completely blameless in this ether...

...

Actually, one more thing to add to this long ass journal. I guess this is somewhat of a PSA thing;

Stop saying that all FNAF/Undertale fans are autistic!

As someone who is on the spectrum herself, yes, I do love FNAF and may not be the best example because I'm 'proving' their point but at the same time, I go to a school that focuses on helping folks on the spectrum and I know some of them who ether can't stand FNAF or don't care for it (the same applies to UT as well). Also, there are fans who are NOT autistic and love the game, so knock it off:

   <da:thumb id="638502771"/> <da:thumb id="604372984"/> <da:thumb id="440369940"/> <da:thumb id="663340563"/>   

Plus, when you say that all fans are autistic, are you implying that folks who are on the spectrum are stupid? Cause if you are, here are more stamps:

 <da:thumb id="246536754"/> <da:thumb id="579556379"/>   <da:thumb id="579208304"/> 

Now I can't speak for everyone but, me, personally, I always get very insecure when I see someone insult people on the spectrum. I come off as extremely ditzy and I hate it because my brain can't understand things quicker like everyone else, I have a hard time reading social cues, can't tell when someone's being sarcastic nor if they're joking, am too open about personal things, take things too literally, and am extremely sensitive. But when I went to a school that helped folks on the spectrum, I started to feel a bit better about myself because there are a lot of folks who are on the spectrum and are incredibly smart! Another thing that made me extremely happy was when I went to see Power Rangers and saw that one of the characters (spoilers) was on the spectrum because it told me that you don't have to be normal to be a super hero! 

We are not stupid, we just learn things differently than others at a different pace!

So when someone says that all FNAF/UT fans are autistic, first off, fuck you, second, even if there are fans on the spectrum, again, that doesn't mean we're stupid. Yes there are some who can be rude (trust me, I know a few at the school who are) but that doesn't apply to every single person on the spectrum!

Now what I'm about to say may sound like an excuse but I swear to god that I don't mean to make it sound that way (like the stamp said, I suck at explaining) but there are some things that we can't control/help. However, unlike those who would use it as an excuse, I try my best to find ways to at least cope with it, such as helping tools, asking people for help, doing research, talking about my problems with my therapist, double checking things before I jump to conclusions, and working on how to improve myself when I do something wrong. I do my very best not to use my disabilities as a crutch which is why I get hesitant to explain about certain things because of course people are gonna dismiss it as me using it as an excuse.

Yeah, hate to break it to you but, I don't like putting my disabilities on a pedestal and demand everyone to treat me like a special snowflake. If anything, I only talk about my disabilities to give people a heads up that I might not understand things right away. If I don't understand something, I ask for help. If I misbehave, I learn from it and do my best to not make that mistake again. Just because I have disabilities, it does not mean I get a pass to behave a certain way or use it as an excuse to get away with something. I'm just another person who's trying to understand how the world works just like you, I just learn things at a different pace. So for those of you who do use it to get what you want, stop it. And for those of you who make fun of it, also stop it.  

...All this came from trying to talk about Bendy and the fandom, BRAIN WHY?? XD;;  

Jesus Christ, it was 12 PM when I started writing this... now it's 5:25 PM